maketh (the blog): Archive

2 tags

Aug 31st

2 notes

1 tag

Aug 31st

177 notes

1 tag

Aug 31st

136 notes

1 tag

We're trialling a new Agile motivation system. How...

mnem: Taken at Huzu Towers Agile is not all fun & games…

Aug 31st

2 tags

Aug 31st

538 notes

A guy I work with got a call

Cold caller: Hello, may I speak to Mr [BLANK]?
Me: Speaking.
Cold caller: Hello Sir, I am calling on behalf of (mumble mumble) and this is a courtesy call regarding the security of your computer.
Me: Okayy...
Cold caller: We have been getting reports of files being downloaded to people's computers from the internet which may be causing problems for people and we are calling all internet users to help them to resolve the problems.
Me: Uh.. Ok..
Cold caller: These are dangerous files and I am calling you to help you out just now. Are you near your computer?
Me: Wait, did you say you were calling all internet users?
Cold caller: (Mishearing me) No sir, we are not internet users, we support the OS of your computer. We support Mac, Linux and Windows computers.
Me: Yes, but that's still a lot of phone calls. Are you sure?
Cold caller: Yes sir, can you go to your PC? I will wait for you.
Me: I'm at my PC right now.. it's switched on.
Cold caller: Oh good, sir. What do you see?
Me: (Alarmed voice) The internet!
Cold caller: Oh, were you doing something?
Me: No.
Cold caller: Good, then will you please click on the button on the left corner of the screen?
Me: The start menu?
 (At this point, the cold caller is suddenly replaced by a different voice who continues the conversation seamlessly)
Cold caller: Yes sir.. what do you see?..
 (Proceeds to lead me in baby steps to the management console and brings up the system error log)
Me: ... There's a big list of errors.
Cold caller: Can you see the part where it says how many errors there are?
Me: Yes, there are 3,491 errors.
Cold caller: So you can see you have over 2,000 errors. Those errors are running on your computer right now.
Me: Really?
Cold caller: Yes sir, were you aware of these errors?
Me: Yes.
Cold caller: (Pause) Were you aware of these errors sir? These are over 2000 corrupted files downloaded from the internet.
Me: No they're not.
Cold caller: I can assure you sir they are.
Me: No they're not. I'm a software engineer and..
Cold caller: Sir, I am an IT manager
Me: Yes, but I'm a software engineer and
Cold caller: (Louder) I am an I.. T.. manager!
Me: Hahaahhahaa!
Cold caller: Is this funny, sir?
Me: Sort of.
Cold caller: I'm not making a joke, sir
Me: No, but I think you are trying to con me.
Cold caller: I can assure you I'm not a con man sir.
Me: I think you are. I write the software that puts the errors into that log.
Cold caller: I'm a qualified IT manager
Me: I'm sure you are.
Cold caller: Your PC will fail within 2 days.
 (He hangs up)